I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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