dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize