some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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