I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
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I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
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You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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