I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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