Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
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But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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