allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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