remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize