you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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