It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
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Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
And then he peed in my hair
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