Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
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I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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