All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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