Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize