U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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