So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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