For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
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Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
And then he peed in my hair
The air taste purple.
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