3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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