You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
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I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
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Another day, another engagement, another cat
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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