Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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