is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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