Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked

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  (419): just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked http://tfl.nu/tqdc
  Replies (60) Good night (24561) Bad night (1717)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!

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  (214): Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first! http://tfl.nu/apjf
  Replies (3) Good night (1935) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...

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  (805): bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad... http://tfl.nu/qw8q
  Replies (45) Good night (3084) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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  (515): he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants. http://tfl.nu/e70d
  Replies (31) Good night (637) Bad night (4752) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.

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  (517): Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%. http://tfl.nu/8x9e
  Replies (19) Good night (823) Bad night (4042) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  there were more penises there than on chat roulette

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  (571): there were more penises there than on chat roulette http://tfl.nu/5x41
  Replies (22) Good night (1080) Bad night (3272) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.

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  (309): Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins. http://tfl.nu/lj1p
  Replies (19) Good night (5251) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works

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  (978): he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works http://tfl.nu/o828
  Replies (11) Good night (4294) Bad night (1643) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.

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  (610): Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic. http://tfl.nu/dj8z
  Replies (27) Good night (1077) Bad night (3214) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night

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  (989): What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night http://tfl.nu/rv8l
  Replies (4) Good night (2201) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.

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  (602): Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair. http://tfl.nu/b6aa
  Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (1611) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.

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  (720): You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis. http://tfl.nu/1eq4
  Replies (3) Good night (1708) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist

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  (360): I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist http://tfl.nu/4ea1
  Replies (12) Good night (493) Bad night (1803) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.

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  (412): He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent. http://tfl.nu/lgq0
  Replies (7) Good night (1279) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.

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  (858): The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out. http://tfl.nu/1ep1
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt

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