im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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