I want to make a zoo with you.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize