A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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