Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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