who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
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I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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