you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize