I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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