do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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