I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize