So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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