Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
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oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
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CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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