I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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