Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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