Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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