We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize