She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
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I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
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It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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