i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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