guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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