you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize