pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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