I skipped work to stalk him.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
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This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize