Where did you get a picture of my penis
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you had me at cake vodka
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize