I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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