so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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