Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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