I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize