thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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