I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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