i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
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Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
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What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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